waiting

this is getting longer than i would expect it, too long not to start doubting it is all going to happen. i am still waiting for my australian visa, and since i want a long term one, i need to prove what an awfully rich person i am. which i'm not, certainly not.
i think it's the longest time ever spent waiting for something without having much other stuff to do apart from catching up with a few mates and hunting with my camera for...shoes for my dearest oldie sister huhuh. it's actualy quite funny how suspiciously you look taking pics.
there's a saying that a habit is a human nature. after quite a few years of working and studying, not having much time to spare on nothing, constant battle with time and trying to live up to the pace i imposed on myself, this waiting, has become close to torture. i need to learn to be patient.
but there's a good side to it. i've got plenty of time to read. i've already swallowed most of the books that had been waiting in line, always secondary to those scientific wisdoms that needed instant gulping. recently, i have dug through the pile of old national geographics and found quite a few intriguing articles, most of them about australia, only two (within the period of 6 years!!!) about new zealand (giant insects, mainly pictures!) and some about the middle east. i've just finished one about the palestinians and can't help feeling happy that sharon (whatever his reasons may be) made up his mind as to removing israeli settlements from gaza strip. it may not be best solution but at least it could be a step towards peace. there was one sentence that sticks to my mind - this is the war between children - 18-20 year olds that are trained to kill. tad schulz, the author, was just right, i reckon.

a routine of life. is it what we're born with? are we all pre-programmed sets that develop, function and eventually die of LIFE - Lethal Infectious Fertility Effect? of course. there is not more to it than a simple YES.
as a human being shall i then succumb? shall i weave myself into the pattern? what if i DO want to malfunction a bit?
well. i'd like to hear what malfunctions YOU have. as human beings.

so. felt my bottom itching again. after a few months of silence i speak again with my voice still full of this 'somewhere else' feeling. this was spontaneous. the decision to go to Israel and to have a real piece of what the media feed us with. yet again, the image of rioting terrorists setting bombs in any spare public place, had to be challenged by what i saw throughout those two weeks. a small land painted in so many colours where the culture is vivid by its variety, its constant movement, impatience, uncertainty. i just opened my eyes and tried to grab a handful of its life. the north. vast landscapes of juicy green, mild in its look and feeling. somewhere in the distance looms mt hermon, my temptation but not realized ambition. even the ever present military trucks seem to melt into the background of the green hills.the south. the land where only the rocks burgeon. at first shy in its appearance, becomes more and more decisive about its looks, changes into sharp features, layers of millions of years old stone and sand. here the sunset is the whole nature and colour performance leaving me with an open mouth and a craving camera for its purples and reds. the silence of a cold night somewhere above the crater. the road to Israel's shpitz of Eilat along the rough line of the desert's mountains. finally, the nature's best just below the Red Sea's surface...but it's not only nature that makes this place a million dollar lottery. it's the history, the religious spirit of the place that spills all over you. it's the people and them being different.

time

some say time is your worst enemy. others claim directly opposite. what is time for me? when not travelling - time is the one that brings painful joy of anticipation of ever making plans of vivid images of what you're going to see what you're going to experience what you're going to LEARN it shrinks as each day fades away to become a tiny dot that eventually marks my departure into the other state of being a dynamic sphere in which you never stop exploring.while travelling, however, time is a fast runner that chases you chanting in your mind endless numbers of days left, hours to come back.so more and more i think of making my life and myself travel in/with time. this way it would stop following me like a humid shadow. i'm not a tree - i don'r have roots holding me down to the groundi'm not a rope to be tied up

mountain remedy

it always helps, a single thought of going up, gasping for breath, carrying all gear on your back, feeling your body when even a single thought seems to add some extra grams to all your always-excessively stuffed backpack. and when it actually happens i always find myself utterly happy so this is the remedy. mountains. and i have sensed that coming. this longing and desperate need to jump in my shoes and set off. soon, very soon...

anywhere but here

travel .to be moving in space, in time, in yourself , what always comes is never enough and when you feel you can't get any more it's time to move again whenever travelling, always write letters in my mind that are never to be posted and received, i print postcards with my memory and store them...try as i might, they fade away but never completely. there is this ever lasting craving for more.