Back to the Future

Christmas this year will somewhat happen in the future.
When You will be helping yourselves to all that herring-carp-veg salad-borsht with dumplings goodness of the Xmas Eve, I will be already suffering through the effects of uncontrolled indulgence. I am not even dreaming of the above treats though - I will have to make do with a home-made KUTIA and anything that can be tossed on the barbeque. You will be ripping through your presents when I will have already satisfied my Christmas curiosity (my magic x-ray vision has already revealed the contents of an unsuspectingly bottle-like packaging of an excellent South Island cabernet merlot). Some of you are more than certain to still be humming the last verses of Silent Night when I will have woken up with a post-Xmas Eve stomach rumbling and even more possibly dehydration caused by red bottled immoderation.
Colorful fireworks will be cracking above my head inducing a fleeting thought of ...ehhh TIME FLIES ... when you will still be trying to squeeze one last breath of this year by trying on the sixteenth fabulously stylish outfit for tonight or by nervously flicking through TV magazines in search of New Year's Eve tv crap.
Finally, when you will be slowly dying on the verges of the sofas, stairs, corners and under the tables, I will be beating my feet rhytmically against the ups and downs of Wellington's hills in an attempt to revive bodily functions and OUT-run Christmas self-indulgence.
It seems that I am going to be ahead of everybody this year. It is a pleasant thought indeed to find myself in a twelve-hour future from which I wish all of you Darlings and Beloved Merry Christmas and a bit of fluffy snow. And maybe some new Xmas tree decorations. And whatever you desire!!!
Ho Ho HO!