(un)conditional

it's been a long and a short journey. a long one in terms of discovery a short one bacause time always flies when you're having fun.
and a journey like this one will always leave you want more, new destinations will pop on the map in your head...once you've travelled to the other side of the world no escapade is too long anymore. it's a big step and a small one at the same time, making you realise how big and absorbing a place it is. there is no life long enough to get everywhere and see it all. and once the world starts expanding in your mind it's an endless source of possibilities.
possibilities are in their nature conditional. there's an IF here and an IF there, one thing determines another and so on.
and so it is now for me. many IFS, very little certainty.
therefore, even if just in writing, i'd rather change 'IF' for 'WHEN'.
and that's why i've decided to go to Jersey once again and work hard, as hard as i can. because if you really want something you will get it.
and what i really want is to go back to New Zealand. i've been wanting it even before i left it. that's why i'm not going back to Poland to finish my studies, spend another year feeling my feet itch and then wonder why i've ever done that.
unrealistic. silly. childish. irresponsible.
well, i'd rather risk than regret not doing so.
i'd share a few more thoughts but i reckon that by the time you get to this paragraph you've already had more than enough and you're right. time to stop talking and start doing!
goodbye downunder. see you next year.